26th diwali

Today i celebrated my 26 th diwali. Starting with an assigment which is the last thing i 'll think abt doing this day ( though i didnt do much thx to some good friends) well i can say it ended well. Had an ice cream my fav Mr. Brown with my ice cream partner , nd then sat with friends discussin a lot of things . Sometimes thngs just happen nd u dnt hav to thnk and work out for them. Somehow i never wanted to be newere today, where as i saw people missing their homes and near ones . Well abt me I dnt knw but i hav been always like this i suppose never allowed to get attached to nethn so much baring a few times.
I do missed a gift sent to me , hopefully ll get it tommorow , nd i can say i was really surprised which seldom happens in case smthn good happens,
lets c i am waitin so much to get hold of that packet which contains somethn i cnt even thnk of , nd the sender declined to divulge the detais making me even more ponder abt tht.
Abt the sender , the person is difficult to please , but wen done most interesting one to be with , wnt rite more abt tht ,
Overall it was one of the differentkind of diwalis wen i didnt had to thnk how shud i spend it , thngs just kept on happenin , nd thts the way i want my life to be ,

goodbye to ths mysterious diwali with unpredictable thngs turnin up ..........

high after just 2

wondering at times about that past
which just left us amazed with the memories
some we will cherish, some which wont last
times when we saw ourselves aloof from all worries

trying to recollect all those moments
unaware of what will be the outcomes
picking them out from the myriad ocassions
Why I find only those ones

When i felt they have been something else
that would have left some good impressions
i hope some day some one will pay attention
but I know this is me & just me and no one else listens

Going with the flow

It has been days since I have done somethin which I really want to , I dont like to get involved in bits and pieces , thats y i am restraining myself. But it has been so long that i dont feel like doing those things , like reading , listening to music , taking up an assignment coz of interest etc, can say i have started living a dead man's life again.
I wait for things to get over which seem like unending , even then there's a hope that i 'll get some time and all other things will get over soon , but these are the same other things for which I gave up things what I liked to do , its a cycle n i feel like trapped , so i have left control over myself and for the time being allowing myself to go with the flow , whereever it takes me till i start to move in a direction chosen by me. May be i dont have directions and still lookin for one. may be this flow will lead me to a place when i ll plenty of them to choose , rite now i cant see beyond . So have closed my eyes and waitin....................... as my favourite song goes ... Coming back to life.

It cannot be me

how confident some people are about their being good, as if their actions are flawless & unquestionable by anyone ,especially by the people who know them best. But all the beliefs get shattered when repeatedly you do things which harm the same people they consider as near ones.
Who gives a damn about your intentions , so what even if they are good, no one has time and patience to look deep in to you. Its only the ends which matter, and these ends which go on from bad to worse lead you to a dead end.
Life at crossroads is much better than dead ends coz atleast one can dream about reaching to a point which one dreams about all the time, unaware of his progress towards a finish point from where neither one can return nor can move forward , the turns you missed all along just start flashing in to ur mind.
But turning and avoiding your natural course is also unnatural , artificially derived ends or rather I should say manipulated ends. Is that where peple would like me to be. Then where's me , who believes in charting out his own path though in wrong directions sometimes.............

Objects of Desire

there r a lot of things which are desirable but u cant get each n everything, u cant even try to get all of them , because of the simple reason that the deisre exists in isolation when u think of just yourself and the object, but in reality u dont have that freedom to isolate yourself and have sometime with what is desirable , and it happens with everyone i suppose or else i need to get myself checked by someone . but ya how its possible that u dont have desires which r completely out of proportion from what u are in now. I think i need to think again n get back to this post wen i am sure about it, but till then ya this is what I believe,
and may be the desires are for a short period of time who knws when those desires become a part of ur life whether they continue to have that charm once they had or not , generally they dont.

Ist Nite

But wat if there was a balance. How properly we try to arrange things on our table but then u have to continously do that or else it becomes disorderly again , n here I am neither arranging tables nor my life , my table is a perfect reflection of how i live my life , anythin anytime just dump on it , n wen u need somethin particular try searchin from it. Somehow i am too lazy to arrange things , n may be i have started to love living in chaos wen no one knows wats where or where's wat. It just how the universe is in chaos